For the sake of privacy and safety, the names of all students have been changed.
Her family was laughing about some irrelevant joke, and it was distracting in a way that annoyed her. Glancing in the rearview mirror they asked if she was excited to see the landmark they had been driving hours to get to. She smiled politely, putting her headphones in and angling her shameful secret away. It was just romance, entertainment, she thought. Justifying the content that was graphic and mature for her young age. But at some point it hit her. The realization that no canyon or sunset, no holiday, no hobby, no friends or family, ever gave her that same high anymore. She had become addicted to pornography.
“I wish I was able to live in the moment more as a kid because my parents were definitely trying to give me a great childhood experience,” student Rose said. “I just ruined it for myself being so wrapped up in porn.”
As the internet has advanced, pornography has become one of the most accessible vices for anyone at any time or place. Even when not intentionally sought out, the average age of exposure is in the preteens. For a curious kid, it often becomes like a rabbit hole. Once they peek over the edge, technology algorithms become a guiding hand to lead the way.
Although not every teen who gets exposed to pornography will have negative consequences in the same way or to the same levels, this doesn’t mean the harms don’t exist. It can be damaging to one's self, relationships, and for the culture around sexuality as a whole.
“[Porn addicts’] joy of life is lessened. They don’t find as much joy with their friends, or the experiences, or just simple things in life,” said Mindy Sederquist, a coach with Reclaim. Reclaim is an organization that helps people overcome sexual addiction. “Everything in life becomes sexual, instead of rose colored glasses, they end up having sexual glasses on, so everything they see is sexualized.”
When looking at all of the problems porn can cause, one of the most upsetting is the feeling of isolation and loneliness that often comes. It creates a sinister shadow that follows users long after they view it.
“I feel like it did cause so much guilt and shame because I wasn’t telling anyone this was happening,” student Lily said. “It was just like, it made me feel like such a gross person for looking, for seeking out and watching it, but at the same time I couldn’t stop.”
Pornography is a plague for teenagers, where many are stuck in the same cycles of shame and isolation. No doctor, parent, or friend can recommend a cure because the problem ceases to leave their bedroom. The side effects only grow internally, distorting life in ways that ruin moments and relationships that should feel special.
“I remember feeling guilty, one time my family was over for the holidays, and I remember watching porn in my room,” Rose said. “And someone knocked on my door and I had to hide it because my family’s in my house and I’m hiding in my room.”
When talking about something as sensitive as pornography, it is crucial to make sure victims know they are not alone. Pornography can be harmful, dangerous, and addicting. But it is not uncommon, a determination of self worth, or something that should remain taboo.
“One of the things that I teach the students that I work with is that this is just an experience,” Sederquist said. “You are not your experiences. So you are not the porn. You are using it, you're consuming it, but it’s not who you are.”
According to the source Culture Reframed, the way to get to a better place is to break the stigma and just talk about it. The word porn should open up a conversation. A conversation between parents and teens about bodies. A conversation about addictions, and overcoming them. For anyone reading who may be struggling with this, the most important thing to know is that help is out there.
“Shame is a fungus,” Sterling Whipple, Individual and Family Relationships teacher said. “It’s this gross nasty thing that grows in the shadows. But as soon as you expose it to direct sunlight, and start talking about it, and address it directly, it starts to go away”
If you want help talking through pornography addiction or other issues, there are resources available for you. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration SAMHSA helpline is 1-800-662-HELP-(4357).

